Is it just me, or is it asking for too much for a guy to support you 100% and who can understand what your career means to you? Because, I don’t know about you, but I won’t settle for anything less. We’re Career Girls after all! And an unsupportive partner is a big no-no! The one thing I need is my guy to just understand when I’m working a little too much, or if we’re going out and I need to finish one last email first.
Because, quite frankly, it’s not just the guys bringing the bacon home anymore. And our careers are just as important as theirs. And that’s the one thing you need to realize. So, here are a few ground rules to know if you’re trying to find love as a career girl:
Don’t hide behind your history
I’ve fallen into the trap into giving everything I have to a relationship. I’ve played the wife, I went to work, did his washing, cleaned up after him and cooked his dinner. But as I got older and life became more serious, I began to think, is this what it’s going to be like for the rest of my life?
My ambitious mother was a housewife, and I’ve grown up wanting to be the exact opposite. So when I found myself in love and falling into this housewife trap, I knew I had to make a change. The first rule of modern dating is to never sacrifice parts of yourself for someone else. Your career is important because it will give you a sense of self, and purpose. Don’t let his career overshadow yours.
Make your voice heard
Very early on into the relationship, you should really outline your goals. Talk about your career, maybe offload some of the things that stress you out, but let your other half know what to expect. It’s like you’re giving them a graceful heads up. And you should touch in on this throughout your relationship.
Set the standard for the behavior you want early on and you’ll be saving yourself problems in the future. Your partner won’t know what to expect if you don’t let him know. Make your voice heard!
Work together from the start
Modern relationships are a bit give-and-take. He might cook the dinner while you chill out, or maybe you cook and he’s folding laundry. You need to communicate that you’re working together and a team from the very beginning of your relationship.
I sat my partner down countless of times and told him what my career meant to me. I needed support from him, and I wasn’t getting it. You know what it’s like, coming in from a long day at work, the only thing you want is to be uplifted and stress-free.
It’s in the small details, having your bath run, dinner already in the oven and even a cup of tea waiting for you when you get in. But when you have to come home and do everything and see no support in return, then you have a problem. If you’ve never really communicated which tasks you expect to work on together and what your strengths and weaknesses are, you can never expect to work together as a team. Tell him from the start you’re a terrible cook, and he’ll know not to let you prepare dinner.
Set your non-negotiables
I have a really high-demanding job, and I love every second of it. Sometimes I open up my laptop at 10 pm, sometimes I’m still talking about work late into the evening. The problem was, I was used to him huffing and puffing about it. It was a normal part of my life.
But, when there were periods where his work demanded more from him, I didn’t comment on it once. I understood. There are things I have to do for my career, which is also essential for getting ahead. I didn’t need him to question it, I needed him to get it. I want someone who is proud of how hard I work and loves me for it!
So, in the end, I asked myself, and you should too, are you better off single? It turns out, my non-negotiable was my career. I just wanted him to support me whether I’m texting late into the night or working on a Sunday to get ahead. Before you start dating, think about this, what’s a deal breaker for you?
Let me know if there are some other dating rules you live by…
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